It’s been a while.
I think I’ve waited so long to write because I began to use my blogging as a place to vent when in reality I wanted this to be about showing what God was doing in my life, how He was blessing me. I think I was complaining too much.
I want to stay candid and show my real emotions, just surround them with spiritual truth.
Graduation is six weeks away and I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited to get to California. I’m excited to see my family, but I think I’m also excited to “escape” my life for a while.
Do you ever have those points in your life where everything seems exciting and dreadful at the same time? It sounds crazy, but that’s my life right now. I’m producing a dinner theatre which has its ups and downs in and of itself, money is fine, I’m graduating in six weeks, and I’m not quite sure what’s next. That’s the crazy thing about graduating college. What’s next?
I don’t have a specific vocation right out of school waiting for me (other than continuing the internship I’m in now, which isn’t a bad option), I don’t have a girlfriend, I am not even sure how much longer I can live here. Life isn’t how I planned it, at least we’re not following the script I wrote. The script I wrote had me meeting my future wife in college, dating past graduation, getting a job somewhere, getting married and a few years down the line having children, all while we each were progressing in our different areas loving people along the way). Maybe it’s good God is writing the script.
This is the main thing I’m learning: my life doesn’t follow my script. Right now, it’s following God’s and to be honest I’m not sure of what He is doing. Usually I can predict what happens in the story, but right now I am at a loss. But it’s okay, as I have been finding out, God’s script is much better than my own, the characters develop at a better pace than mine and to be honest it’s more interesting.
And I have to improvise my way through.
But you know what? The Playwrite is also the Director, so he’s coaching me along the way and He hasn’t let me down yet. Though I don’t understand what I’m doing or where I’m going all the time, I know once the curtain falls the story will have been a beautiful one.